Category: Stories
Satan's Navy - not by Patrick O'Brian
This article first appeared on my main website last year. However I'm currently in the process of porting over all the old content to this system and decided to make this one appear nice and high here so you can read it.
It seems the Royal Navy has officially recognised its first Satanist. You can read the full story courtesy of the BBC. At the urging of a friend and because clearly I had nothing better to do, I have taken the liberty of addressing the story in the style of Patrick O'Brian, author of the peerless Master & Commander series.
Chapter Two
And here I present the second chapter of The Ballad of The Chocolate Teapot. Tune in again next month for more from this story of sixties excess, rock and roll and diabolical schemes...
Chapter One
So here it is in it's unchecked, unedited glory. The first chapter of The Ballad of The Chocolate Teapot. Hope you enjoy it.
Introducing The Chocolate Teapot
The most observant of you may notice that there's a new category in my blog menu - that of The Ballad of The Chocolate Teapot. This is the title of a novel I've been writing for what seems like half my life.
It originally began when I was 16 and was called Underwhirled. Essentially it was a humorous rant based on my atheism, increasingly bewilderment with the work of Tom Clancy and some jokes about nobs.
I actually wrote quite a lot of the book but it hasn't aged well. There was a long gap in my progress, which was then resumed after I graduated from University. When I resumed I added a chapter about a globally successful rock band called The Chocolate Teapot. In doing so I felt I had created some characters much better than the dire novel in which they appeared.
The Secret Agent
A rather silly spoof of the modern spy novel, with daft action aplenty and some rather terrible dialogue.
The King with Donkey's Ears
This is a retelling of a story that a teacher used to tell our class in my youth, told mostly from memory. For those who may be confused to constant reference to a small Yorkshire town. This story was written for the children of a friend who lived in that town.
Crazy Little Thing
Getting too close to your computer? Here is a tale of love and technology, with more than a slight nod to a certain Ridley Scott movie.
Bagpuss - The Chocolate Biscuit Episode
Remembering a childhood classic now, in the form of my rant about the political ideas behind a certain episode of Bagpus.
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