Harry's Blog

Hello BBC News, I just wanted to let you know that ten minutes spent at the top of yesterday's 6pm bulletin on some chimney pots falling off was not news. There wasn't anything remotely newsworthy about the first third of your bulletin.

What was news were the grisly discoveries in Jersey at the children's home, or why in this age of terrorist scares the ginger tosser and his stupid friends weren't lined up against a wall and shot for climbing on the Westminster Palace roof. But we had to wait ages to hear about these issues. Because the UK had gone earth tremor crazy.

The important major news of the day should not have been some minor earth tremor that caused less damage than a few gusts of wind. We didn't need live link-ups¹ to various places where dopey monosyllabic fiends felt the need to express their confusion with the night's events. Nor did we need to see the footage taken by pissed-up Wii-playing student wankers².

Jeez. What the hell would happen if some real natural disaster did befall this nation? We live in a country where nothing much happens, but every time it snows or there's a very small fart ten miles underneath Market Rasen the news editors at the BBC³ go bonkers.

_{¹But then we rarely need live link-ups at all. The BBC is obsessed with outside broadcasting for no good reason. So we get Nick Robinson patronisingly explain something to the anchor in the studio, not from the studio where he should be, but outside 10 Downing Street for no discernible reason.
²Slight redundancy in that sentence I know.
³I'm not even going to talk about ITV news, we all know it's slowed down news for 'tards, my beef is with the BBC, which should maintain certain standards.}