Harry's Blog

Are you a Christian who gets aroused at the sound of your own voice played at high-decibels? Do you own a megaphone? Well perhaps you'd like to join your friends across the road from the Victoria Palace Theatre in London and annoy the living hell out of commuters. There's plenty of room for you to join the team.

It's a sad state of affairs. Not enough people in the world know that Christians are sad judgmental losers, with no manners, zero tolerance of others and egos the size of planets. So you have an opportunity to put things right on the streets of London.

Far too many people still think that Christians are people who follow the teachings of Jesus, believe that the meek will inherit the earth and teach peace and love. But you can put that right. It's your chance to show what hateful scum Christians are.

Don't worry about offending people, it's okay to tell all that pass by that they will burn in hell. After all, that's what Jesus was all about, telling people they would burn, wasn't he?

Oh and don't worry about the possibility that there may actually be many Christians walking by full of embarrassment, if they were true Christians like you, they'd be joining in with your righteous tirade.

If you've got the charm and vocal volume of Ian Paisley, no girlfriend and an inability to see what an utter disgrace you are to your faith, then apply now. Benefits include some really bad fashion items, a comedy beard and the very vague promise that one day you may achieve your lifelong ambition and actually get to see a lady bare naked.

Twat.