Harry's Blog

There are times when being a mummy overwhelms you with frustration. My moments of extreme frustration do, however, seem to clash with a certain hormonal peak plus this week three out of the four of us have had colds - so I guess it isn't fair to call this a normal week.

It is funny; I'd spent a large chunk of my adult life imagining what it might be like to be a mum and a wife. But before I met Harry I'd pretty much written it all off. I certainly didn't expect to be planning a wedding as we head towards the end of 2007. And I guess that the philosophising you do over glasses of wine as a single woman bear little resemblance to the day to day reality of being a nearly wife and mum.

My biggest problem is feeling that I don't succeed at anything I do anymore. My house is a tip, I have a 'to do' list as long as my arm, I don't seem to spend proper time with Harry, with the twins or with my woefully neglected friends. I never ever get to the bottom of the washing or ironing pile, I forget birthdays, I am late for things, there is stuff everywhere. I struggle every day to find a pair of matching socks for the twins, Harry and I have given up on matching anything. I haven't been to the gym since June, my eyebrows are neglected, my hair needs a cut, and I won't even mention the bikini line! And it isn't because I don't care about any of these things, I do. It is just that caring for the twins, fulfilling the requirements of my job and providing meals just about fills most hours of the day.

Should I go part time? Should I continue to muddle through? How can I have a clean, tidy and organised house? Does it matter? Are my children neglected? Does Harry feel unloved? Are my friends busy crossing me off their Christmas card lists? And how do I keep my energy levels up so that I actually want to clean the bathroom at 9 o'clock at night rather than just flop on the sofa and drink a glass of wine.

I know I'm not the only woman in the world to feel like this. I'm sure that probably every woman in the world feels like this! Today I'm going to do some of the niggling tasks on my to do list, I will spend some quality time with my children and fiance. I will enjoy my day off. But I will continue to wonder -how do we work all these things better? Answers on a postcard please.