Harry's Blog

The time was quarter to three in the morning, the place was my small flat by the marina¹.

The event?

My near death.

Well not really. As Jo explained to a very sleepy me when I finally got home this morning I couldn't really die like that as I wasn't drunk or on drugs.

I woke up choking you see, was shocked into wakefulness by an acid attack preventing me from breathing.

I coughed and coughed, then started breathing, then lay there feeling rather alone and scared for quite a while.

Being a complete idiot I didn't have the smarts to phone Jo or head home² for some TLC. Instead I just lay there rather shocked, tired and in pain until it was nearly 6am and time to go home.

I'm such a muppet.

I also lay there stewing with anger. I was thinking that if I died it would all have been the Anglican Church's fault for making me live apart from my family - because that's how my mind works at 3am.

That said the real fault for last night lay with one person.

Me.

I'm not by nature a solitary person and being cut off from my family at night is not conducive to happiness. So I often stuff my face with chocolate when I get to bed in the flat and you can guess the rest.

It was all my fault³.

My Tuesday has become a lot better since the early morning scare. I'm very tired. But I've learned a lesson about how I deal with frustrations that I don't have the power to change. I should not deal with control being removed from my life by showing a lack of control over myself.

Tonight the last time I eat will be at dinner. Like I said, I've learned by lesson.

_{¹Also known as a bloody stupid waste of £5000.
²Home is where the people you love live.
³I told you I was a muppet.}